


One Of Those Things

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Series: Songs from the Jukebox [Prompt Fills] [63]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: David Rose is a Good Person, Dialogue-Only, Erectile Dysfunction, Jukebox Prompt, M/M, Post-Canon, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: “No, shush. It’s fine. Bodies are stupid and sometimes they do stupid shit, that’s all.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Songs from the Jukebox [Prompt Fills] [63]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775569
Comments: 32
Kudos: 206





	One Of Those Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [midnightstreet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/gifts).



> midnightstreet asked for “40-something Patrick is mortified when he experiences erectile dysfunction” and I couldn’t resist. I actually wrote this six or so weeks ago, but failed to publish it until now. Whoops!

“Fuck. _Fuck!”_

“Patrick, it’s—”

“Don’t you dare say it’s fine, David.”

“Okay, but it is, though. I’m not— hey, come here.”

“I’m sor—”

“Mm-mm, nope, no, we’re definitely not doing that. Come here.”

“…”

“There you go. Will you let me tell you it’s fine now?”

“David…”

“No, shush. It’s _fine._ Bodies are stupid and sometimes they do stupid shit, that’s all.”

“I think ruining our sex life goes beyond _stupid shit.”_

“Mmkay, our sex life is definitely not _ruined_ because we can’t fuck _one time._ It’s no different to me getting a migraine and not being up for it.”

“Except it’s not like you get a migraine in the middle of sex, David.”

“I did once, actually.”

“…What?”

“Not with you, obviously. Back in, like, my 20s. Whatever I was on at the time must have hidden the warning signs because suddenly it was _right there.”_

“What happened?”

“Um, let’s just say some women take it personally when you’re in the middle of going down on them and you suddenly pull away to throw up all over your bedroom floor.”

“Oh my god.”

“See? It could have been so much worse.”

“I can’t believe that actually made me feel better.”

“Glad all the idiotic decisions of my youth could be of service.”

“Has this happened to you before?”

“Sure. Whiskey dick is a real thing, and some of the drugs I was doing back in the day… let’s just say they mellowed me out a little too much.”

“But not… just because.”

“No. But I’m sure it’s just one of those random things.”

“And if it’s not?”

“If it’s not, we’ll figure it out. But give it at least a day before you start lining up for little blue pills, okay?”

“Thank you, David.”

“Nothing to thank me for. Besides, we were well overdue for you to be embarrassed about something. At least yours doesn’t involve a plastic sheet on the bed.”

“You always know just what to say.”

“Hey. I love you.”

“I love you too, David.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on [Tumblr](http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/).


End file.
